Red Sonja

Sword and Sorcery films have been popular since Sinbad in the late 50s and early 60s, but it wasn't until the 80s that the sub-genre really exploded. In 1982, Conan The Barbarian was released and launched Arnold Schwarzenegger's film career. It also opened the floodgates for other movies in the genre, which included Krull, Conan The Destroyer, Red Sonja and Dragonslayer. None of those films had the same impact as Conan The Barbarian however. Conan The Destroyer wasn't as well received because it was held back by it's PG rating, and nonsensical story. Red Sonja was a flat out failure, as it didn't make HALF of what it cost to make. But Red Sonja is the film that I will be reviewing today.

The film opens in the aftermath of the murder of Red Sonja's(Brigitte Nielson) family and her being brutalized by the soldiers of the evil queen Gedren(Sandahl Bergman). Sonja is visited by a spirit, giving her the strength to finally seek revenge. Elsewhere, in a temple, priestesses guarding a mystical talisman are preparing to destroy it, when they are attacked by Gedren's forces, led by Ikol(the late Ronald Lacey). One of the priestesses escapes and is shot by one of Gedren's guards, who happen to be dispatched by Lord Kalidor(Arnold Schwarzenegger). Kalidor finds Sonja training at a nearby temple and is brought back to her sister, who later dies. Sonja then embarks on a quest to destroy the Talisman and Gedren. On the way, she meets a spoiled prince, Tarn(Ernie Reyes, Jr.) and his servant, the noble Falkon(Paul Smith). First thing's first, the story isn't original, and nor is it very good. The talisman is nothing more than a MacGuffin to get Sonja and her friends moving. We don't even get a taste of the talisman's full power, just some of the aftermath. Not only that, only women can touch it. Why is that? When a man touches it, he turns neon-green and then disappears. That's just one of the major plotholes that you'll discover throughout the film. The acting is flat out terrible. Nielson and Bergman are particularly awful. Which is strange, because I really liked Bergman in Conan The Barbarian. Schwarzenegger is just being himself basically, but it looks like he's having lots of fun. Ernie Reyes, Jr., who would later go to became a master of the martial arts as well as an actor/stunt man, ended up being pretty annoying in this film. Not really his fault, as that's the way the character was written. Reyes does get to showcase some of his martial arts abilities, which are actually fairly impressive for his age. The fight scenes that he's involved with are actually not to bad, it's just that there aren't really enough of them.

Speaking of the fight scenes, aside from Ernie Reyes, Jr., the fight scenes are fairly generic. Not bad, but nothing to really scream about either. Schwarzenegger's just doing his Conan stuff, and the fight between Gedren and Sonja runs a little too long. Paul Smith is really fun to watch though, he has a huge club made out of bone that he uses, which adds humor to his fight scenes. Truth be told, this is a bad movie, it's an even worse genre film, and yet, there's something strangely charming about the whole thing. It was made with the best intentions, which you can tell from some of the acting and other scenes, but it was just poorly executed. Some of the actors went on to have solid careers, Schwarzenegger was already a superstar because of The Terminator, and Ernie Reyes went on to star in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II and Surf Ninjas. The others? Not so much. Sandahl Bergman and Brigitte Nielson, both of whom were very beautiful at the time, especially in this film, just didn't really make it big.

As much as Red Sonja deserves the criticism that it got for it's silliness, I still found it to be an entertaining movie. Swords, sorcery, beautiful women, Arnold Schwarzenegger swinging a sword. It's still a great combination. Even in a bad movie. I still love it though. I give it a solid 8/10.

Highlander

In 1986, a young unknown director named Russell Mulcahy released Highlander, to really poor fanfare in the United States, but widely accepted and praised in Europe and other territories. Theatrically, it's performance in the States was a disaster, but it quickly developed a cult following on home video that would launch it's main star, Christopher Lambert to superstar status. Highlander eventually spawned three spin-off series, including one that starred Adrian Paul who would go on to star in two Highlander film sequels, as a member of the Clan MacLeod. It also spawned four sequels, one of them was straight-to-video, and one Anime film.

Connor MacLeod(Christopher Lambert) was born in 1518 in the village of Glen Finnen on the shores of Loch Shiel. Mortally wounded in battle against a rival clan, by the Kurgan(Clancy Brown), Connor returns to life only to be driven away by those he loved. In exile, he is discovered and trained by Jaun-Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez(Sean Connery), a 3,000 year old immortal. Turns out that Connor MacLeod is also an immortal. Fast-forward to 1986 in modern-day New York City, Connor is living under a different name, Russell Nash. He is being hunted by The Kurgan, also immortal. Turns out that through time immortals have been fighting each other to be the last one standing. The only way an immortal can die is by decapitation. As an immortal dies, his power and his knowledge flow into the victor and makes them stronger, and blowing shit up in the process. In the end, only one immortal is supposed to survive. Should that last immortal be someone like the Kurgan, mankind will suffer eternal damnation.

For a modern-day fantasy film, Highlander has a fairly complex story. There's a bunch of subplots that are integral to the main plot. It's actually very well written and intelligent. This movie got ripped to shreds when it was released in the States in 1986. I guess people that it was very strange to have sword-fights in New York city, coupled with the fact that you have immortals that can only die by decapitation, which made it a fairly violent movie. Not only that, there were flashbacks to Connor's earlier life as a member of the Clan MacLeod, which seemed to confuse people, but I thought it made sense, and worked in context with the overall story. It helped to explain where Connor came from and how he ended up where he is. The acting in this film is really good, especially from the three main leads. Christopher Lambert shines as Connor MacLeod, a man who can't seem to escape his past. Sean Connery is splendid as Ramirez, the immortal who takes Connor under his and teaches him to survive. Connery, best known as James Bond, brings and elegant and commanding presence as the 3,000 year old Egyptian metallurgist to King Charles V of Spain. His introduction is awesome. But the one actor who really steals the show in Highlander is Clancy Brown as the Kurgan. This guy knows how to really amp up the villain factor, he plays it very over-the-top, and it works, as the Kurgan is frightening AND funny at the same time. He also wields a broadsword that would make Conan the Barbarian jealous. It's very clear that Brown is having a lot of fun with his character, and it really helps sell the character as one of the most memorable villains in movie history.

The fight scenes, for the time back in '86, were fairly well done, from the opening sword fight beneath Madison Square Garden to the climactic battle between the Kurgan and Connor MacLeod. It doesn't stand up as well today, as today's sword fights are faster, better choreographed, and sometimes far more brutal, but there's a fun time to be had watching those sword fights. The other thing that really stands out about this film is the soundtrack. It's not just the fantastic score by the late Michael Kamen, but also the fact that the legendary rock band, Queen had a direct hand in the making of the music of the film. The opening song, Princes of the Universe, is incredible powerful and helps set the tone for the film. Some of the other songs are more somber and really amp up the moods in those scenes.

As I said before, this film was a disaster, critically in the United States, when it was released, but over time when it hit home video, it took on a life of its own, and became really popular and accepted. So much so, that four sequels were spawned: Highlander II, The Final Dimension, Endgame, and The Source. An anime film was also released several years back, The Search for Vengeance. There were three series, that spun off on the mythology of the film. One series starred Adrian Paul, and lasted for six seasons, that series had it's own spin-off, The Raven, which didn't even last a full season, and a cartoon, The Animated Series, which was pretty horrendous. There was actually supposed to be a game released a few years back, and it never did, and most likely never will. The series with Adrian Paul, as well as the anime film, were close to achieving the magic that the original Highlander had. The rest of them didn't even come close. Highlander: Endgame I felt was the only live action film, that was worthy of being a true sequel to Highlander, but even then it had it's problems. But that's another film for another day.

Coming back to the original film, I have to give it a solid 9/10. Some of it doesn't stand up nearly as well after such a long period of time, but the performances of Clancy Brown, Sean Connery and Christopher Lambert, as well as a complex story with unique characters, more than makes up for it. If you must own a Highlander film, it has to be the original, because in the end, there can be only one.

DeepStar Six

"There's something in the airlock!" 1989 was the year of the underwater monster movie. That year we saw the release of George P. Cosmatos's Leviathan, DeepStar Six, and last not but least, James Cameron's The Abyss. Out of all those films released that year, the only one that really garnered attention and did extremely well was The Abyss. And why not? It was helmed by legendary James Cameron who had directed Aliens and The Terminator before it. It also had the benefit of big-name actors such as Ed Harris, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. The other movies? Leviathan and DeepStar Six. DeepStar Six ended up flopping big time, and didn't reach cult status like Leviathan did. I'm going to review DeepStar Six for this post.

In the near future, the United States has established a top-secret base at the bottom of the ocean. The purpose is two-fold. One: To see if a permanent colony can be established in the deep. Two: Securing nuclear missiles. The scientists discover a gigantic cavern beneath the missile site, and opt to collapse it to place the missiles. However, something has been unleashed from the cavern and threatens the crew of DeepStar Six. It's a simple setup. Nothing too fancy, right? It's nothing original, we've seen it before. The film opens as a shift change happens and scientists swap positions from the main DeepStar complex and the SeaTrack laboratory. Eventually the scientists in the lab discover immense caverns beneath the missile site, and yet the scientist in charge, orders them to be collapsed. This is among the first of stupid decisions made in this film, and there are a lot of them. That can be attributed to the fact that the script is half-baked. Basically, the caverns are blown up and some kind of sea monster is released and terrorizes everyone, and because of dumb decisions, people die. If you have to abandon nuclear missiles at the bottom of the ocean, you DON'T NEED TO DETONATE THEM! One of the people in the base, Snyder(Miguel Ferrer), when asked to secure the missile sled, says, "It's not like people are going to swim down and steal them." Afterwards, chaos ensues and they have to find a way to get out of the base before it explodes too, because it's also a nuclear bomb, in a manner of speaking. Chaos ensues and people die.

As for the creature itself? Not very original. It looks like an over-sized lobster. And only two people are actually directly killed by it. Truth be told, when the creature actually shows itself, it's not too bad, as you don't see the whole thing. But then again, it's pretty static, as in it really doesn't move anywhere when it shows itself. It seems I'm really down on this movie doesn't it? Fact is, I had a lot of fun with it. And I'll tell you why. One, it's directed by Sean S. Cunningham of Friday the 13th, and it's well-acted. The three standouts are Taurean Blacque(Laidlaw), Miguel Ferrer(Snyder), and Matt McCoy(Richardson). Despite the crappy dialogue and script, these people give their best, particularly Ferrer, who's got playing a weasel down pat. He does it extremely well. Don't believe me? Check out RoboCop. Three, it moves at a decent clip. Granted, the shit doesn't hit the fan until about thirty minutes in, but it's still fun to watch the interactions between the characters.

Some of the problems I've mentioned are also attributed to the fact that there is another movie with almost the same setup, Leviathan. And I will admit that Leviathan is the better film in every aspect. But DeepStar Six is good old-fashioned movie monster fun, that may not be the best, but it certainly isn't the worst, and I find it's very fun. I give it a solid 8/10.

Lord of the Rings Trilogy: The Fellowship of the Ring

In my first review of the Lord of the Rings on Blu-Ray, I discussed the merits of the Blu-Ray copies of the films. In this post, I will review the films themselves, and these will be the theatrical releases, not the Extended Versions. Not yet anyway. But anyway...here we go:

The Fellowship of the Ring

"One ring to rule them all. One ring to find them. One ring to bring them all, and in the darkness, bind them." In 2001, New Line Cinema in association with Wing Nut Films released the first film in the epic Lord of the Rings Trilogy, created by J.R.R Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring. The film opens as men, dwarves and elves were given rings of power, by the Dark Lord Sauron. In secret, he forges a master ring, the One Ring, through which he gains control over all others. The world of Middle Earth is plunged into darkness as the lands fall to the power of the dark lord. But there was resistance; a Last Alliance of men and elves challenged Sauron at the foot of Mount Doom, in the land of Mordor. The king of Gondor was killed in battle, but his son, Isildur, took up his father's sword, and cut the One Ring from Sauron's hand. Isildur took the One Ring as his own. Eventually, the ring betrayed Isildur and he was killed in an ambush by orcs. The ring was lost for 2,500 years, until it was picked up by a creature named Gollum. The ring kept Gollum alive for 500 years, biding its time. It eventually abandoned Gollum only to end up in the hands of a Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins(Sir Ian Holm). Rumors of Sauron's fortress of Barad Dur being rebuilt in the land of Mordor persisted. As it turns out, when Sauron created the One Ring, he bound his life force to the ring, and it survived because of Isildur. Sauron has returned and seeks the One Ring to destroy the world. Enter Frodo Baggins(Elijah Wood), Samwise Gamgee(Sean Astin), and Gandalf The Grey(Sir Ian McKellen). They set out to find a safe place where the One Ring can be hidden from Sauron.

There's a lot that's going on the first 40 minutes when The Fellowship of the Rings opens. The story gets complicated as the characters themselves are complex and fallible, which makes them easier to relate to, particularly the Hobbits played by Elijah Wood(Frodo), Sean Astin(Samwise Gamgee), Dominic Monaghan(Merry), and Billy Boyd(Pippin). They get thrown into situations that's way above and beyond what they are used to dealing with, and we see them afraid and eventually find their courage. This is helped in part by Ian McKellan's character of Gandalf, a wizard who takes a liking to the Hobbits of the Shire(as well as their leaves, which they love to smoke), and Aragorn(Viggo Mortensen), a ranger that is truly more than he appears. They eventually find their way to Rivendell, home of the Elven Lord Elrond(Hugo Weaving) and his daughter, Arwen(Liv Tyler). It is eventually decided that the One Ring must be destroyed, and the only way to do that is to take it back to Mount Doom, and throw it into the fire that created it. A Fellowship of nine is created, which includes four hobbits, Gandalf, Aragorn, Boromir of Gondor(Sean Bean), the elf Legolas(Orlando Bloom), and the Dwarf, Gimli(John-Rhys Davies). Not only do they have to avoid Sauron's forces, but also Saruman(Sir Christopher Lee)as well.

As I said, the story gets more complicated as the film and trilogy continue, but The Fellowship establishes the world of Middle Earth and the principle characters, both good and evil. It also shows how easily men are corrupted as the One Ring slowly drives Boromir insane, and threatens to destroy the group from within. The film is very well acted on all sides, especially Elijah Wood, whom I never would of suspected of playing a Hobbit. But he was the right person for that role. Sir Ian McKellen was a revelation as Gandalf. As soon as you first see him, you don't see Ian McKellen, you see Gandalf, that's how much he embodies the role. Same goes for Viggo Mortensen, who plays Aragorn. On the villain side, you've got Christopher Lee, who is known for playing villains, specifically Dracula. But he brings a gravitas to the role that is menacing. And he does it very well. He starts out as a good guy, but eventually betrays Gandalf and basically everybody else for his own selfish desires. The themes of betrayal, love, courage and loss are well-represented here, especially in the third act of the film.

What I love about The Lord of the Rings is the complexity of the stories and the fact that Tolkien invented two separate languages specifically for his stories that take place in Middle Earth. THAT is dedication, but it works beautifully on screen. The action sequences are amazing, from the opening epic battle sequence at the foot of Mount Doom to the final fight with the Uruk Hai, on the river of Argonath. The CGI effects were fantastic back in 2001, and they still are. But one of the biggest things I love about the Lord of the Rings is the landscape of Middle Earth. The Lord of the Rings films were shot in New Zealand, and it's simply stunning. Watching the films, it's as though you're looking AT Middle Earth, aside from some matte paintings and such, it was all filmed on location. At nearly three hours*, it still doesn't feel too long as it's paced perfectly. Peter Jackson has done an incredible job with these films. I'll review The Two Towers and The Return of the King in separate posts. But I will get to them. I give The Fellowship of the Ring a perfect 10/10.

*This is the theatrical cut of the film, the extended version runs a half-hour longer. I will review the extended films at a later date.

Tremors

"It just suddenly hit me. You know....stampede."

In the town of Perfection, Nevada, the locals are going about their business, when their town is suddenly plagued by mysterious deaths and disappearances. Soon, they discover that their peaceful valley has been invaded by giant underground man-eating worms. Two down-on-their luck handymen, Valentine McGee(Kevin Bacon), and Earl Bassett(Fred Ward) team up with a student seismologist(Finn Carter) and survivalists Burt and Heather Gummer(Michael Gross and Reba McEntire), to fight the creatures.

Ok, so, the story isn't original. Doesn't need to be in this case. This is a monster movie, plain and simple. Released in 1990, it helped launch Kevin Bacon into the spotlight and was Reba McEntire's first foray into the film world. While this film had it's fair share of scares, it was also really funny at the same time thanks to Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward. Those two bounced off each other almost like Abbott and Costello. They were very funny, likable, and pretty down-to-earth. It also helps that the rest of the cast were also up to the challenge, everyone from Victor Wong(Walter Chang) to Bobby Jacoby(Melvin) really put forth incredible effort, to bring the audience into the movie. Michael Gross's character of Burt Gummer, is particularly funny, because his character takes himself a little too seriously, and the rest of the characters react to that in some pretty funny ways.

Now, this being a monster movie, you've got to have interesting monsters. And we do. Giant. Worms. These are not your typical earthworms. No, these are desert-dwelling gigantic man-eating worms that move with incredible speed, and can't see, but they can feel vibrations from potential victims. When you first see the monster, it looks like a mutated snake as it's dangling from Val and Earl's truck. Then you see later, that it's more of a tongue that will grab you and pull you in. Truthfully, having monsters that attack you from underground is actually a pretty freaky idea, but it is one that works in this case. There are points in the movie where the camera is from the creature's point of view, sneaking up on a victim, and you go, "is it gonna get 'em? Is it gonna get 'em?" It gets pretty intense at times. There are some gruesome moments in the film, like when Val and Earl find one of the townspeople on an electrical tower, and the head of another in a field. It's not really one for the kids, despite the PG-13 rating. And speaking of special effects, no CGI trickery is used here, just simple camera tricks, miniatures and puppetry. And it works, beautifully.

The film works, because not only do you have great monsters and scares, it's incredibly funny at the same time, and few movies have been able to pull that off. Tremors is one that has stood the test of time, and will for years to come. I think it would've fared even better if it was the ONLY Tremors film, but it's not. It's spawned two sequels, one prequel and a short-lived television series, all of which I own copies of. Tremors 2: Aftershocks, kept Michael Gross and Fred Ward, and still worked to a certain degree, even though it was...gorier. It was still funny at times. Tremors 3: Back To Perfection, starred Michael Gross in the lead along with Arianna Richards and Tony Genaro from the original film. Tremors 4: The Legend Begins takes place in the Old West when Perfection, Nevada was known as Rejection. Tremors 4 featured Michael Gross as the great-grandfather of Burt Gummer. He and Billy Drago were the only real saving graces of the fourth film. But I'll review each film separately. The television series ran for 13 episodes and featured Michael Gross in the lead as Burt Gummer, obviously. A couple of episodes managed to feature Christopher Lloyd. But the show only lasted 13 episodes on the Sci-Fi channel before being canned. There's a reason. The show really wasn't that great. It's not horrible, but there's nothing terribly remarkable about it either. And there are rumors of a fifth film that is supposed to take place in Australia. But I haven't heard anything new about that in years.

Honestly, I enjoyed the sequels, and the TV show, but to be truthful with you, the one film in the series that has really prevailed as one of the best monster movies in the past 25 years is still the original film with Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward. Their performances and fantastic writing really help keep the first Tremors film from being forgotten. I highly recommend this film to any fan of monster movies and/or Kevin Bacon. It gets a perfect 10/10.

To Buy or Not to Buy.

Typically, I use this blog to review movies. However, something came up and I need to talk about it for this particular post. It was just announced that the Lord of the Rings Trilogy Extended Edition would be coming to Blu-Ray at the end of June. The set includes 15 discs. 6 Blu-rays which are the movies spread over two discs each. Reason for that is to maximize picture and audio quality. Understandable. These are movies that deserve the very best. The remaining 9 discs are where my problem lies. They're DVDs. Not high-definition Blu-Ray, but standard def DVD. And those have the special features for each and every movie. They include all the special features of the Extended and theatrical releases. This wouldn't be an issue, except that I have all those features already, because I have the theatrical versions of the trilogy on Blu-Ray, which include the special features of the previous theatrical release on DVD. I also have the Extended Editions on DVD, which have extensive behind-the-scenes features. The movies themselves are epic in every way. My main issue is the pricing. The MSRP is about 120 USD. For three movies? Even for the extended versions, that's excessive.

Don't get me wrong: I love boxed sets. I have the Alien Anthology, Avatar, X-Men and Star Trek Next Generation Films on Blu-Ray. Fantastic sets, all of them. But each one that I just mentioned has features that their DVD counter-parts don't have, particularly the Alien Anthology and James Cameron's Avatar. Now, when I say the MSRP for the LOTR Extended Edition Trilogy is about 120 USD, that's usually not the case. That's the price the manufacturer suggests, but it's usually up to the retailer to sell it at a certain range. Amazon themselves have it on for 83 bucks. That's much better, but it's still too much. And before I'm labeled a hypocrite, I DO have the Star Wars Saga pre-ordered on Blu-Ray from Amazon.com. BUT, the Star Wars Saga is SIX movies, not three, and there's an extra disc that has special features that haven't been seen by the general public yet. So, I'm fairly particular about the boxed sets I DO buy. It just doesn't make sense for me to buy the LOTR trilogy AGAIN on Blu-Ray for nearly a hundred bucks. So....I'm going to wait for the individual releases before I buy the trilogy again. Granted, each movie would retail for about 25-35 USD depending on where I go. The total price I would actually pay would probably just as much if not a little bit more than the set itself, so it IS a bit of a quandary, and it's not an easy decision to make, particularly because I'm a HUGE fan of the Lord of the Rings. But it's a situation I'm keeping an eye on.

Blu-Ray has only been available since 2006, but it's been picking up steam. Prices for the discs and players have become more affordable for the general public since then, but for boxed sets, prices are still a little too much to swallow. Depending on where you go, the price for boxed sets, particularly for big movies like the Alien Anthology and Lord of the Rings, will range between 70 and 140 brand new. If you're going to pick this set up, shop around, and you can find the LOTR Extended Edition Blu-Ray set at a bargain price.

Piranha(2010)

Killer fish movies haven't really been popular since Jaws first arrived over 30 years ago. Unless you count the crappy movies that have been released on the sci-fi channel over the past couple of years including Mega Piranha which was made in response to Alexandre Aja's remake of Piranha.

Alex Aja's Piranha is a remake of the killer fish movie directed by Joe Dante from 1978. But that's really in name only. In the original film the fish were mutations. In Aja's film, they're an ancient breed of piranha. Basically, the storyline is this: It's Spring Break in Lake Victoria, Arizona, and students from all over the country are coming to this particular spot to party. That means booze and boobs. Elizabeth Shue plays the town's sheriff, and Ving Rhames plays her second in command. Steven R. McQueen plays sheriff's son, Jake, who wants to have fun but is stuck babysitting his siblings. He eventually sneaks off to do what he wants. Apparently a small tremor has broken open an underwater cave releasing thousands of ravenous piranha into the nearby lake and all hell is about to break loose.

Okay, nobody goes to a movie like this for the movie. No, they come for the breasts and the carnage, and there is plenty of both. There are plenty of awesome death scenes in this film, but the main centerpiece of the film, is the piranha attack on the party-goers. It literally turns into a bloodbath as people are eviscerated left and right. There's some cgi involved, but in a film like this, it kinda works, but for the most part the effect are mostly practical thanks to KNB Effects. I haven't seen a film this bloody in a long time. And that's almost in one scene.

Yes, this movie is silly, and it realizes that. You've got cameos from Christopher Lloyd as the mad scientist type fishing store owner, Eli Roth as the party host, and Matt Hooper from Jaws: Richard Dreyfuss himself. This movie does not take itself seriously at all, and I think that works in its favor. The acting isn't too bad. You've got Jerry O'Connell who plays a convincing sleazeball pornographer. Elizabeth Shue is fantastic, as is Ving Rhames.

The effects: For practical effects, this film is wild. The piranha's themselves are completely CG, but most of the gore effects are practical, with some effects that are CG. But that's because this movie was shot in 3D. And there some scenes where that's obviously supposed to be in 3D. But this film works without it just as well. This is the most light-hearted horror movie from Alex Aja and it leaves it open for a sequel. There's plenty of laughs and lots and lots of blood. For gorehounds, this is a real treat. It's 88 minutes long so it runs at a decent pace. I give this one a respectable 8.5/10.