Ninja Apocalypse

When I was a kid, I used to watch a lot of ninja movies.  During Halloween, I would've also dressed up as a ninja.  That's how cool ninjas were.  I loved the whole ninja deal: the swords, sai, star shurikens, caltrops, and the coolest thing: the smoke pellets.  I won't bore you with the history of the ninja, but I will say that it is very interesting.  During the 80s, ninja movies were very popular.  One of the reasons they were popular is because the movies showed the ninja as acrobatic assassins, even in broad daylight.  Some of the more interesting ninja movies that were released during that period were: Enter The Ninja, 9 Deaths of the Ninja, Revenge of the Ninja, Ninja III: The Domination, American Ninja, and Rage of Honor.  Even without those movies, you still had the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, both the cartoon series and the movies.  It didn't seem like the ninja were going out of style.  Unfortunately, they did.  We haven't seen a proper ninja movie until Ninja Assassin was released a couple of years ago.  Along with that movie, we also got Ninja and Ninja: Shadow of a Tear starring Scott Adkins.  Somewhere along the way, somebody got the bright idea to remake The Warriors movie with ninjas.  Ninjas. With superpowers.  It's called: Ninja Apocalypse.

The film takes place somewhere in the future after a nuclear war has ravaged the world.  Among the survivors are several clans of ninja warriors who have been mutated.  Certain clans exhibit certain powers.  One clan wields the power of lightening while another can throw fireballs.  Bringing all the clans together to face a growing threat is Fumitaka(Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), and his second-in-command Hiroshi(Ernie Reyes, Jr.).  Sadly, Fumitaka is assassinated and one of the clans has been framed for the murder.  If you think that story's ridiculous, watch the trailer.  Ridiculous?  This movie is bat-shit crazy.  You've got one clan that can toss around lightening, one clan that throws fireballs, another can teleport, another that's reptilian and moves fast, and you've got another that can shape-shift.  Sounds awesome, right?  Yes....and no.

First off, the concept is actually pretty cool: A post-apocalyptic ninja movie.  I certainly wasn't expecting that to happen.  Secondly, the powers are used on a regular basis.  Next up: Cary Tagawa and Ernie Reyes Jr.  Tagawa's just awesome in nearly everything that he's done thus far, and Reyes still moves like he did back in the early 90s, and he chews the scenery like you wouldn't believe.  Finally, the fight choreography is actually not half-bad.  No wires are used to enhance the moves, so what you see is what you get.  Some of the fights are actually really good.  Especially the final battle.  And finally: Zombies.  Yes: Zombies.  These are zombies that also happen to regenerate.  That's pretty good stuff, right?  So, what went wrong?  The answer: Everything else.

Wow, talk about piss-poor visual effects.  Some of the backgrounds look like they were poorly Photoshopped.  The CGI is barely functional at best, and horribly laughable at worst.  The acting is uniformly horrendous.  Cary Tagawa is only in the film for a few minutes before he's killed off, and Ernie Reyes Jr?  At least he's not playing an annoying brat like he did in Red Sonja.  This movie also has some of the WORST dialogue I've ever seen in a movie.  Yes, even worse than Star Wars: Attack of the Clones.  There's really only one way that can sum up my reaction to the film's dialogue:


Ninja Apocalypse is the "Sharknado" of martial arts films.  I'm not kidding.  Yeah, it's bad.  It's really, really bad.  But it's awesome at the same time.  It kinda works, because there was some effort put into this movie.  I understand that nobody sets out to make a bad movie......I hope.  This one however, got screwed by some horrendously atrocious writing.  The stuff it gets right, it does fairly well.  As a result, the film is a mixed bag.  On the one hand, you've got some genuinely awesome fight sequences, with some interesting visual effects, and ninjas, but on the other hand: Everything else.  Although, with a name like Ninja Apocalypse, you probably know what you're getting yourself into.  This seems contradictory, but I'm giving the film an 8/10 for it's audacity and nifty action sequences.  Like Sharknado, I don't think it would be as interesting as it is with better visual effects.  Sounds weird doesn't it?  I say: Give it a rent.  Just be prepared for more than a few face-palm moments.

X-Men

In 1963, legendary comic writer Stan Lee released the first issues of X-Men through the Marvel Comics label.  These comics introduced to the world many unique characters with extraordinary powers.  These people were known as mutants.  These comics gave us characters such as Cyclops, Storm, Professor Charles Xavier, The Beast, Gambit, Jubilee and The Wolverine on the heroes' side.  For the villains, we got Sabretooth, Mr. Sinister, Omega Red, Lady Deathstrike, Mystique and Magneto.  Throughout the comics, the story lines involved not just battles between good and evil, but also fighting against prejudice and racism.  X-Men has existed in several mediums: Comics, novels, TV cartoons and starting in 2000, live-action movies.

X-Men starts as young runaway, Rogue(Anna Paquin)arrives in Canada at a bar.  She notices a fight going on inside a ring involving a man known as The Wolverine/Logan(Hugh Jackman).  After being threatened by both a fighter and the bartender, Wolverine shows his claws, literally.  Rogue hitches a ride with Wolverine and then both of them are attacked by a mutant called Sabretooth(Tyler Mane).  After Wolverine gets knocked out, he and Rogue are rescued by two mutants, Cyclops/Scott Summers(James Marsden)and Storm/Ororo Munroe(Halle Berry).  After waking in a mansion run by Professor Charles Xavier(Patrick Stewart), Wolverine learns that the mansion he's in is not only a school, but a save haven for mutants like him.  Wolverine learns that a powerful mutant by the name of Magneto(Ian McKellen)may have targeted him, and Xavier wants to know why.

The story has it's twists and turns, and it retains the good vs evil theme.  It also brings the themes of prejudice and racism to a head here.  While those themes were relevant during the  60s and 70s, they are no less important today.  However, the film asks the question: Who's the real villain?  Is it the people who hate and fear those who are different from them, like mutants?  Or is the people who are willing to do whatever it takes to see their race survive?  It doesn't come across as a black and white issue.  In fact, the main villain's motives are pretty noble.  Magneto wants to protect his fellow mutants, but he's willing to go to extremes to do so.  Charles Xavier, also wants to protect his fellow mutants, but not the expense of the rest of the human race, so while their goals may be similar, Xavier's methods and Magneto's couldn't be more different.  In fact, it was mentioned in the film, that Magneto and Xavier were close friends in the past, so there seems to be mutual respect between the two foes.

The real surprise of the movie is Logan, a.k.a. The Wolverine.  This is a guy that has spent the past 15 years wandering the world without memory of who he used to be before an experiment that gave him an adamantium skeleton and claws.  Brilliantly performed by newcomer Hugh Jackman, Logan is a guy with a serious chip on his shoulder and takes crap from nobody.  Yet, beneath Logan's gruff exterior is a man who eventually comes to do the right thing, and nobody fights like he does.  The character goes through an amazing transformation from a character that doesn't seem like he cares about anyone or anything, to someone who actually does.  He's not a boyscout and he's willing to fight to protect not only those he cares about, but also those who hate and fear mutants.  He begins to change, once he realizes that he's not alone.  Patrick Stewart brings a fatherly and noble presence to the character of Charles Xavier.  What can I say about Patrick Stewart?  He's an incredible actor and what he brings to the table is an accessibility and strength that really makes Xavier a good guy.  Ian McKellen IS Magneto.  He makes Magneto someone you can sympathize with to a certain extent.  Magneto is a man who has been victimized by people his entire life.  People like the Nazis who experimented on him and his fellow mutants as well as today's politicians and people who fear him and his kind.

While the film is chock-full of great characters, the ones who really get the most attention are: Wolverine, Xavier, Magneto, and Jean Grey(Famke Janssen).  These, I feel, are the most compelling characters in this movie.  Cyclops, Storm and Rogue, while competently played by their respective actors, with the exception of Storm, aren't particularly well-written.  Halle Berry is simply miscast as Storm.  She doesn't have the presence that the character requires.  The villains are pretty cool, though.  Tyler Mane is freaky as Sabretooth.  Standing at nearly 7 feet tall, Mane is an incredible intimidating presence.  He's just plain mean, and it's awesome.  Rebecca Romijn plays the alluring, yet mysterious Raven Darkholm, a.k.a Mystique, a shape-shifting mutant.  Ray Park plays the vile and disgusting Toad.  Park has always been a fun one to watch.  Ray Park has the physicality and look to pull off such a unique villain. 

The action is fantastic.  From Sabretooth's first appearance to the final battle on Liberty Island, the action sequences are fantastic, utilizing both wire-work and visual effects, it all comes together in an epic package that doesn't disappoint.  The music by the late Michael Kamen not only pays homage to the 90s cartoon, but it really has a very distinct and epic feel that makes the whole movie a bit better.

I mentioned earlier that some of the characters got short-changed: Cyclops and Storm.  These two don't really come across as likable, and they don't really have much of a story-arc.  I've never been a big fan of Halle Berry anyway, but her performance as Storm is severely underwhelming.  She doesn't really bring a sense of urgency when the situation calls for it, and she just comes across as a bit of a bitch.  Overall, though, X-Men is one of the best comic-book movies in the past 20 years.  It's also spawned two direct sequels, two spin-offs, a reboot and a sequel/reset film.  X-Men is one of the most popular franchises in the world and I don't see it stopping anytime soon.  This film also introduced us to one of the most dynamic actors I have seen so far: Hugh Jackman.  Make no mistake, he IS Wolverine.  An 8.5/10 seems pretty respectable for a film of this caliber.  It comes highly recommended.

Thoughts or comments?

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

After Spider-Man 3 was released to theaters, it was a financial success.  Big time.  Critically, though, it got hammered and rightfully so.  Too many villains, too many subplots, they cast the wrong person to be Venom, who didn't get nearly enough screen time and went out like a punk, turning Peter Parker into an emo punk, and finally: Those dance numbers.  I don't know what Sam Raimi was thinking, but those dance numbers really had no place in a Spider-Man movie.  Despite all that, it was a successful film, so it was to be expected that a fourth film would follow, and it was expected that Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire would return for the next film.  Nobody would expect that Sony would reboot the live-action film series, at all.  When The Amazing Spider-Man was announced, it took people by surprise and rightly so.  Less than a decade had passed since the first Sam Raimi film was released.  Who in their right mind would risk rebooting a film franchise that was barely ten years old?  Sure enough, with a new cast and director they started over from scratch.  The Amazing Spider-Man was another origin story.  Instead of Tobey Maguire, they cast British actor, Andrew Garfield in the role of Peter Parker, Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy, Rhys Ifans as Dr. Curt Connors/The Lizard, Denis Leary as Captain Stacy, Martin Sheen and Sally Field as Uncle Ben and Aunt May.  Surprisingly, it was fairly well received and was very successful.  So, the logical thing was to start on a sequel.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 begins with a bang as we see Spider-Man/Peter Parker(Andrew Garfield) swinging through the streets of New York City, fighting crime as he does.  Incidentally, he rescues an absent-minded employee of Oscorp, Max Dillon(Jamie Foxx), who eventually becomes obsessed with Spider-Man.  One night at Oscorp, Dillon has an accident in which he ends up in a vat full of electric eels.  Instead of dying, he absorbs electrical energy and becomes Electro.  Meanwhile, an old friend of Parker's, Harry Osborne(Dane DeHann)returns from some boarding school on the news that his father is dying due to a genetic disease, which Harry has inherited from his father.  That revelation leads Harry on a collision course with Spider-Man.

When Spider-Man 3 was released, it was derided for having too much in it, particularly in terms of villains and subplots.  The first two Sam Raimi films were successful because they had only one major villain and the movies revolved around those villains.  That was also why the first Amazing Spider-Man was successful.  One villain=more screen time for said villain.  So, story-wise, Amazing Spider-Man 2 has a little too much in it.  Again, too many subplots, and too many villains.  However, it's done in a way that's not entirely ludicrous, except maybe for Electro.  So...story-wise, Amazing Spider-Man 2 flounders a little bit.  Everything else, it seems to get right.  Let's talk about the casting.  When Andrew Garfield was first cast as Peter Parker, I was really surprised that he gave the character a less-geeky approach and made him a little more self-confident.  It makes for a much stronger character in the long run and really amplifies the character when he puts on the mask.  Brilliant casting in that department.  Emma Stone is fantastic as Gwen Stacy.  She's beautiful, intelligent and funny and is someone that Parker would love to spend the rest of his life with.  The chemistry between Garfield and Stone is outstanding and their relationship with each other is one of the best parts of the movie and really gives the movie an emotional impact.  Jamie Foxx does what he can as Max Dillon, who isn't that much of a likable character.  He's kinda creepy.  But when Dillon becomes Elector, Foxx brings his A-game and really lights up the screen....literally.  Dane DeHann is a revelation as Harry Osborne.  This is a character who's driven to desperation because of his disease and DeHann goes from someone you wouldn't mind hanging out with to someone you don't want to cross at all.  He becomes totally ruthless in his pursuit of a cure, and DeHann really gives the character surprising depth and sympathy.  The performances in this film are fantastic.

As good as the action was in the first movie, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 really turns up the heat.  The scenes where Spider-Man is swinging through the city are exhilarating.  You get a real sense of vertigo and speed when he's zipping around NYC.  Some of the fight scenes are spectacular, especially when Electro goes berserk.  His fight with Spider-Man is one of the most spectacular I've seen in a Spider-Man movie.  It's a total ride.  The music is done by Hans Zimmer and The Magnificent Six which was a band he had formed.  It gives the film a real epic scale.

Now, when I said that this film had too many villains, I'm referring to The Green Goblin and Rhino who is played by Paul Giamatti in a very limited but spectacular role that seems to set up the next film.  This movie wasn't just a journey for Peter Parker, but Harry Osborne as well and his transformation into the Goblin.  Too many, but they're independent of each other, so it isn't THAT much of a problem.  DeHann actually does a great job as the Green Goblin, but again, it's a set-up for what's to come.  There is an issue with which both fans of the comics and the movies have a problem, and that's with what happens with Gwen Stacy.  I won't spoil it here, but I will say that, because of the relationship between Parker and Stacy and the performances of the respecting actors, that it really lands an emotional sucker punch.

Overall, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is a visually spectacular film that really feels like a comic-book and that's a good thing.  The performances, especially by Garfield and Stone, really help sell the characters as people who have real problems, and the rest of the cast are fantastic as well.  Yeah, the film could have used a few less villains, but it wasn't nearly as bad as Spider-Man 3.  So, I'm looking forward to the next film.  Unfortunately we won't see The Amazing Spider-Man 3 until 2018.  Which is too bad.  These last two movies were awesome, exciting and spectacular.  I'm giving this film a solid 9/10.

Agree or Disagree?  Comment below and no web-slinging.

Robocop 1987 vs. Robocop 2014

I'm going to do something a little different here.  The majority of my reviews have basically just been one movie.  However, with the release of the 2014 remake of Robocop, I'm going to review both of them in one post and then compare the two to see how well the new film stacks up against the old one.  I know there are people who felt that it was blasphemous to remake Robocop.  Mind you, they did the same thing with Total Recall.  Both films were originally directed by Paul Verhoeven.  So....on with the show.

ROBOCOP(1987)



Robocop opens as newly transferred Alex Murphy(Peter Weller)is assigned a partner, Officer Lewis(Nancy Allen).  Their first call has them chasing down bank robbers lead by notorious cop-killer Clarence Boddicker(Kurtwood Smith)and Emil Antonowsky(Paul McCrane).  They end up at a steel mill in which Murphy attempts to arrest one of the criminals, but ends up being blown away by the gang.  The film cuts to a first-person perspective in which OCP officer, Bob Morton(Miguel Ferrer)appears at the camera.  But we soon learn that Alex Murphy has somewhat survived, but most of his body has been replaced by robotics, transforming him into Robocop.

I don't think anything really needs to be said about the story here.  It's a good story, but there's so much more to this movie than the story.  It's everything else.  Robocop has been known as one of the most as probably the most violent action film in 1987 and it shows.  It's extremely bloody.  So much so, that the MPAA threatened to give the film an X rating, because it was so violent.  Alex Murphy's attempted murder is particularly brutal.  He loses his hand first, and then his whole arm, and the criminals just empty their guns.  This was back in the day when there was no such thing as CGI blood.  It was all done with practical effects and squibs.  It was pretty spectacular.  Now, let's get to Robocop himself.  The character was designed by Rob Bottin, the man who did the visual effects for John Carpenter's The Thing.  Robocop became one of the most iconic characters in cinema.  Not just for the way he looked and moved, nor just the gun that he carried, but it was the performance of Peter Weller that really sold it.

Let's look at the cast, shall we?  This is an amazing cast.  You have Peter Weller as Alex Murphy/Robocop, who brings humanity to the machine.  And as a result we have a character that is both iconic and sympathetic.  He's fantastic.  Next, we have Nancy Allen as Officer Lewis.  Believe it or not, she's not a love interest.  Her character is a tough-as-nails cop who's more than willing to beat the crap out of a suspect if need be.  But Allen brings a sensitivity to the role which contrasts with her toughness.  Let's look at the villains:  Oh, what a rogue's gallery we have here.  At the top is Dick Jones played by Ronny Cox.  This guy is a scheming and manipulative high-ranking official at OCP.  You know this guy is totally corrupt and willing to do anything to stay on top.  Kurtwood Smith is a revelation as Clarence Boddicker.  He chews the scenery like it's nobody's business.  At times he can be pretty funny, but most of the time, the character is a complete scumbag, and yet he nearly steals the show whenever he's on the screen.  Paul McCrane plays Emil Antonowsky, Boddicker right hand man.  There's absolutely nothing likable about this guy.  McCrane is really good at playing characters you love to hate, and his character's demise is oh, so appropriate.

Action-wise, this is an amazing movie.  It's blood-spattered violence is also peppered with car chases and explosions and awesome one-liners.  The visual effects are for the most part, still pretty good.  Some of the blue-screen work is pretty obvious, by today's standards.  But the other thing that still stands out is the ED-209 robot.  Animated through stop-motion techniques this is a seriously one big bad machine.....that doesn't know how to use stairs, which is actually pretty funny.  The other thing that really stands out about this movie is the iconic score by the late Basil Poledouris.  It's one of those music scores that you would instantly recognize.  It's amazing.  Overall, this is a fantastic movie that still stands up nearly 30 years after it was released.  The film has had comics, sequels, tv series and video games, it got quite a following.  It generated controversy because it was so violent, but it also poked fun at American consumerism, as evidenced by the random commercials.  There's no other way to say it: This movie is awesome.  Despite some dated visuals, the film still gets a 10/10 from me.

ROBOCOP(2014)



RoboCop opens in the Middle East as machines and robots are patrolling the streets pacifying the local population.  Leading them is a man named Rick Mattox(Jackie Earle Haley)when they are attacked by suicide bombers.  We cut to a television program hosted by Pat Novak(Samuel L. Jackson).  Later, the film cuts to Detective Alex Murphy(Joel Kinneman)attempts to arrest a local gun and drug dealer.  The drug dealer escapes and has Murphy's car bombed at his home.  Suffering massive injuries, Murphy's wife, Clara(Abbie Cornish)allows OCP to outfit her husband with a top-of-the-line mechanical suit, while keeping Murphy's brain, lung and heart intact.  Everything else is completely mechanical, and turning Murphy into an unstoppable one-man army known as Robocop.

Okay, this new movie takes a few different turns from the original.  One: This one allows Murphy to keep his memories and emotions intact, allowing Robocop to retain his humanity.  Two: His family plays a much larger role.  While the story definitely takes a different turn, it's still about the main character who becomes the iconic character.  However, the suit was redesigned to allow for less robotic movements in this day and age, and it's black.  It's still has that helmet with the slot, however.  So, it's not entirely different.  I know people were up in arms over the whole thing, but think about it.  The old suit was appropriate for it's time, but would come off as completely clunky and ludicrous today.  So, some redesigns had to happen.  He also carries two guns, instead of one: A taser gun which looks like the original Robocop weapon, and a sub-machine gun.  Both of which come out his legs.  So, it's still good.  His bike is actually really cool, though.

Let's talk about the performances.  Overall, not bad.  Joel Kinneman was a solid choice, especially once he becomes Robocop.  Abbie Cornish is the sympathetic wife, and she's not too bad.  Michael Keaton plays the head of the OCP,  Raymond Sellers.  He's a scheming business-man.  Keaton was pretty good here, but not memorable.  Neither was Jackie Earle Haley as Mattox.  The character was nothing more than a mercenary.  Samuel L. Jackson was actually fairly entertaining as Novak.  It's pretty amusing to see Jackson with a full head of awful hair.  The real standout in this movie is Gary Oldman as Dr. Denett Norton.  He's simply fantastic and easily the most sympathetic character in the film.  With the exception of Gary Oldman, there really is no one here that stands out.  The villains are....blah.

What about the action?  It's got some pretty good action in it, but a lot of it is CGI-laden and it's painfully obvious at times.  The one thing I should mention about this new Robocop is that it is rated PG-13.  And that's where people start having problems with it.  It's slick, no doubt about it, but it's bland at the same time.  The action is nearly bloodless.  So, what about the suit?  Oddly enough, I kinda like it, it's a little more contemporary and a bit more practical than the older one.  The helmet comes down when the character needs it to, so we do get to see Murphy's face more.  But when it comes down it's not bad.  Unfortunately, they took Robocop's iconic weapon and turned it into a wimpy taser.  But he does get a second weapon though, a fully-automatic sub-machine gun, so that makes up for it.

Overall, it's not a terrible film.  It's actually surprisingly competent.  However, by making the film PG-13, they alienated many of the core audience of Robocop in order to reach the masses.  The original film was made for a specific audience, not everybody.  This new movie, while slick, lacks the soul and grit of the original.  It just doesn't come close to what the original film was.  It's still a fun ride, and Joel Kinneman isn't bad as Robocop.  Robocop(2014) gets a 7.5/10.

Now that I've covered both movies it's time to compare the two.  Both movies were controversial, albeit for different reasons.  The original Robocop was controversial for it's extreme violence and brutality.  The new movie was controversial because they redesigned the suit and made the film PG-13.  The original film had a memorable cast of characters.  The new one?  Gary Oldman....and Samuel L. Jackson's crazy hairdo.  The 1987 suit?  Silver and black, and looks more robotic with an awesome pistol.  The new one?  ALL-black and less robotic with a helmet that comes up and down and holsters two weapons.  Both win.  Overall, there's no competition here.  While the new film certainly is fun and has some good things going for it, like the new suit and Gary Oldman, the original 1987 flick is the clear winner here.  Why?  It doesn't try to be more than what it is.  It was also a statement on American capitalism and consumerism.  The new movie?  It's well-made and slick, but it's too slick and not grimy or violent enough.  This is what happens when you take an R-rated movie and make it PG-13.  If you have to choose a movie, go for the original.  It's far more honest in its intentions.  The original Robocop is a must-own film.  The new movie is a rental at best, but not nearly as bad as everyone says it is.  So there you have it.  Two reviews in one!

Comment below please........or not, if you want.

The Last Stand

When you hear somebody talk about action movie icons, I would imagine the one that really sticks out in your mind is Arnold Schwarzenegger.  This man has starred in some of the most iconic movies of all time: Conan The Barbarian, The Terminator, Commando, Predator, Total Recall, The Running Man, and Red Heat among others.  He has built a career of playing characters that are physically built and imposing and with that Austrian accent of his, he stands out amongst other actors.  The first real role that Arnold sunk his teeth into was Conan The Barbarian, but the film that really made this guy a star is The Terminator, in which he plays the titular villain, and he was incredible.  Since that film, he's had an amazing film career.  After Terminator 3, he left the film industry to become the governor of California for two terms.  After having a cameo in The Expendables, it seemed like it was about time for Schwarzenegger to enter the movie industry again.  Does he still have what it takes to carry a movie like he used to?

The Last Stand stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as a former Los Angeles tactical police officer, Ray Owens, who has decided to become the sheriff of a quiet town near the border of Mexico.  Unbeknownst to him, a Mexican cartel kingpin has escaped federal custody and is heading towards Sheriff Owens' town, and only he and a handful of deputies stand in the kingpin's way.  Okay, so the story is pretty simple, but it gets the job done.  There's really not a whole lot of character development, as this is basically a movie that eases Arnold back into the genre.  That's not to say that the acting's bad.  Not really.  We have a pretty solid cast here.  Jamie Alexander plays the feisty Sarah Torrence, a deputy of Sheriff Owens.  Rodrigo Santoro plays Torrence's ex-boyfriend, Frank Martinez.  Forrest Whitaker plays the head of an FBI tactical unit.  Eduardo Noriega is the cartel kingpin, Cortez.  Luiz Guzman is another deputy.  Some of the next ones are actually pretty good choices for their characters.  Johnny Knoxville is fantastic as the gun-loving nut, Lewis Dinkum and Peter Stormare chews the scenery like no-one else as Cortez's second-in-command, Burrell.  As much fan as it is to watch everyone else, Stormare pretty much steals the show whenever he's on screen.  He has a ton of fun with the character.  Arnold Schwarzenegger is.....Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Despite his age, he handles the action very well, and even at certain points makes light of his age.  Everyone else does a good job.

With The Last Stand being Arnold's first lead role since Terminator 3, you would expect the movie to have some action in it.  Oh, there's action in it.  It definitely earns its R-rating.  It gets pretty bloody.  Explosions, gun fights, fist fights and car chases perforate the whole movie.  It rarely slows down.
The Last Stand has the look and feel of a western.  It borrows a lot of themes from western films.  For instance, the lone sheriff taking a stand against corrupt outlaws.  That's a pretty standard trope for a western.  It feels a lot like a western despite the fact that the film was directed by Korean director, Kim Jee-Woon.  This is Kim's first American and English-speaking film, and he did a fantastic job with it.  It has a very specific feel and look to the whole thing.  It's gritty, brutal and at times, pretty funny, thanks to some of the unique characters like Dinkum.

Even today, Arnold Schwarzenegger has serious screen presence and he's still a hell of a lot of fun to watch.  That being said, there's really nothing in this movie that really screams, "Iconic!"  Aside from Schwarzenegger himself, there really isn't anything here that we haven't seen before.  But, you know what?  For a man who's film career spans more than 30 years, I think we can afford to cut him a little slack.  He's slowly but surely getting back into the genre that really made him a star.  Yeah, he's not as young as he used to be, but he can still bring it.  He's also going to be reprising the two roles that put him on the map, The Terminator and Conan.  Arnold Schwarzenegger can still draw an audience, there's no doubt about that, and honestly, The Last Stand was probably a good choice for him to ease back into the action, even if the film wasn't totally well-received by audiences.  It's still a fun film, and it's a Schwarzenegger to boot.  This one gets a 9/10.

Questions, comments?  Think I'm on right on, or did I miss the broad side of barn?

Godspeed, Robin Williams

Yesterday, it was reported that Robin Williams had passed away.  For someone who has touched so many lives in so many ways, and brought so much laughter and joy to this world, this is a tremendous loss.  I won't comment or speculate on the details or circumstances of his death.  Instead, I will be focusing on what the man gave us during such an incredible career.  For those who may not know, he guest starred on a show called Happy Days, in which he played an eccentric character named Mork, who would get his own show called Mork and Mindy.  He would then go on to play interesting and unique characters throughout his film career which includes the Genie from Disney's Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, Peter Pan in Hook, and Armand Goldman from The Birdcage.  But some of his best roles came in some of his more dramatic moments which included Dead Poets Society, Hamlet, Good Will Hunting, and What Dreams May Come.  As a stand-up comedian, he was almost unrivaled.  My thoughts and prayers go out to his family, as he leaves behind a third wife and three children. 






Robin McLaurin Williams: 1951-2014

The Expendables

When you hear the term, "action movie," what actors pop into your mind?  Arnold Schwarzenegger,  Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, maybe Dolph Lundgren?  10 years ago, if you had told me that some of the biggest action stars in movie history would get together to make an epic action movie, I would've laughed at you.  In 2010, Sylvester Stallone made it happen.

The Expendables begins as a group of pirates threaten to kill hostages that they kidnapped 3 months prior.  They are soon interrupted by a group of mercenaries lead by Barney Ross(Sylvester Stallone).  Following his lead are Lee Christmas(Jason Statham), Yin Yang(Jet Li), Toll Road(Randy Couture), Hale Caesar(Terry Crews), and Gunner Jensen(Dolph Lundgren).  After the mission they are contacted by mysterious man known simply as Mr. Church(Bruce Willis) for a job in the Gulf of Mexico.

Honestly, the only reason for a story involving some of the biggest names in action movies is just to get from one action set piece to another.  Does the film deliver on the action?  Hell yes, it does.  It's brutal, bloody and constant.  It's awesome.  People are blown in half, heads blown off and stabbed to death.  It's glorious.  Big explosions, awesome stunts and big fight scenes pepper a movie that has been inspired by some of the biggest and loudest action movies of the 80s.  It's awesome stuff and what really makes it work is the cast.  There are a lot of big names here.  From Stallone to Eric Roberts, most of the big action stars of the 80s and 90s make an appearance.  We even have a small cameo from Arnold Schwarzenegger(who was still governor at the time)in a scene which brings the three biggest action stars together for the first time, ever.  It's short but it's awesome.  Again what makes a movie like this work is the chemistry between the characters and it's often times pretty funny.  The banter between Statham's character and Stallone's is one of the highlights.  These are the good guys.  For the bad guys, we have Eric Roberts, Dolph Lundgren(he switches sides for a bit)"Stone Cold" Steve Austin, and Gary Daniels.  I would consider Eric Roberts the LESS talented sibling of Julia Roberts, but when given the right material, he's fantastic, and he makes a great bad guy.  Dolph Lundgren:  This guy is pretty awesome in his own right.  He plays a great psycho and he really has fun with it.

Some of the best scenes are when Statham and Stallone escape the fictional island that they're on only to return and blow the living hell out of the dock.  Awesome.  Then we have a fight scene between Lundgren's character and Jet Li's character which was pretty good.  Then there's the last battle in front of the palace which is the biggest and loudest action scene in the movie and it doesn't disappoint.

That's what worked.  Here's what didn't:  The camerawork.  Good lord.  The amount of close-ups during some of the fight scenes kind of made it hard to see what was going on, and as a result there's a great deal of "shaky-cam" going on, and it just confuses people.  That kind of camerawork doesn't really belong in an action movie like this.  I didn't think it worked in the Bourne movies and it doesn't work here.  I would actually like to see what's going on.  I don't know if it was a stylistic choice made by Stallone, but I don't think it really worked out as well as he'd hoped it would.  The other is, the lack of Mickey Rourke.  Instead of having him in action scenes, he's relegated to being a tatoo artist/guy who offers missions/philosopher of sorts.  He's great, but I was expecting more.  Randy Couture just simply isn't a good actor.  Example? The Scorpion King 2.  As an ex-UFC champion, he's definitely got moves, but he just doesn't have the charisma to stand out from everybody else.  I was also expecting a little bit more screen time from Gary Daniels, who is an excellent martial artist in his own right, but he's not really as well known as the other guys.

The Expendables also had some serious competition back in 2010, namely a movie called Machete, which boasted an incredible cast of its own.  Not only that, there was a question of whether or not Stallone could hold his own in action movies today?  I can tell that after seeing movies like Rambo(the fourth movie) and Rocky Balboa, the answer is yes.  The man is in amazing shape for his age.  He's built like a tank.  So, yeah, he can still handle himself.  The Expendables was clearly successful as it got not just one, but TWO sequels.  Expendables 2 was released back in 2012, and Expendables 3 is due to be released in the next month or two.  So there IS an audience for movies of this magnitude and I'm part of that audience.  For the stuff that this movie didn't get right, it's got everything else going for it, which is more than the sum of its parts.  Overall, it's a pretty damned good action movie with big explosions.  I just wish they could have tightened up the camerawork a little bit better.  Overall, though, the film gets a 8.5/10 from me.  Recommended.

Any questions, thoughts?  Anything?  Do you agree or think I'm totally off my rocker?  Please leave comments below.