Sharknado

Oh boy.  Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.  It had to happen.  When your the name The Asylum, what comes to your mind?  Bottom of the barrel, low-budget sci-fi channel crapfests, right?  That's EXACTLY what The Asylum produces.  Mega Piranha, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Battle of Los Angeles and Snakes on a Train, just to name a few.  A lot of these films were designed to released on the coattails of certain big screen movies like the Piranha remake, Snakes on a Plane and Battle: Los Angeles.  For most of them, they are irredeemably bad.  Not even so bad they're good.  Most of them are just plain crap.  But every once in a blue moon, The Asylum releases a trailer teasing certain movies that are just so batshit crazy, you think to yourself: "Okay, I've gotta see that."  Mega Piranha was one such movie, and Sharknado is the other.

Story?  What?  Who cares?!  With a movie title like "Sharknado," are you really going into this expecting Citizen Kane?  All everybody needs to know is that a hurricane is forcing thousands of sharks towards the shores of California and are picked up and thrown by tornadoes.  And people ending up becoming lunch for the fish.  That's all you need to know.  It's just a way of explaining the insanity that happens on screen.  And it is insanity.  I suppose it's appropriate for a movie like this to be released by a studio called The Asylum.  It doesn't take long before things start going crazy on the beach, and then it just spills over(literally)into downtown Los Angeles, the Hamptons and an airport.  For a movie that was direct to TV, it's surprisingly bloody.  People are torn to shreds as you would expect in a shark movie.  But when sharks are swimming down streets and seen flying into signs and electric wires, you have to wonder?  What were these guys at Asylum smoking, and where can I get some?

Okay, let's get serious(not likely), what's bad about this movie? The acting, Ian Zeiring of 90210 fame is in the lead, Tara Reid plays his wife. John Heard plays the requisite drunkard, and Cassandra Scerbo plays the gorgeous love interest who hates sharks.  Yeah, the acting's bad, but most of these people are clearly in on the joke and are having a fantastic time, except for Tara Reid, who has as much talent as a rock.  The acting's bad, but it manages to entertain.  The visual effects?  Oh, dear god.  The CGI is just plain....WOW.  It's bad.  Again, it's par for the course with The Asylum.  However:  It's insane the amount of crap the manage to get on the screen.  If the CGI was better, it probably wouldn't send the message that this movie is nuts nearly as well.  There's definitely stuff in here that's just of the WTF variety.  Flying a helicopter next to a tornado and throwing bombs into it to destroy it?  Yeah, no.  Science?  That's out of the window.  Physics?  Also gone.  But then again, with a movie like this, you shouldn't expect ANY of that in the first place.

Any good stuff?  Uh....it doesn't take itself too seriously, but seriously enough that it doesn't come across as a blatant comedy.  It's also not boring.  It's fairly well-paced, leaving drama and the serious family dynamics out of the picture, for the most part.  It doesn't take long to get from one action scene to another.  There's that.  Oh, and the song when the credits roll is awesome.

Sharknado got a whole ton of press, this thing was hyped from when it was announced.  It was on Twitter, Facebook and all over the internet.  It even actually managed to get a limited THEATRICAL release.  No other movie from The Asylum can claim that.  Everybody's been talking about it.  Even people who don't watch movies or have internet have heard of this movie.  Are the people who hate this movie wrong?  Not at all.  On the contrary, they are very much correct.  It's a terrible movie.  Bad acting, bad special effects, lousy story; hell, lousy everything, except for the song on the end credits, that was awesome.  You can't really argue with people that give this movie a bad review. It's earned, and that I think is why it's popular.  It knows it's bad and goes full throttle, you're either with it or you're not.  Let's give this thing a score:
Acting: 4/10
Effects: 2/10
Story: What?
Concept: 8/10
Song on the End Credits: 15/10
Awesomeness Factor: 10/10.
Overall: 9/10.  I loved every minute of it.

Batman(1989)

25 years.  It has been 25 years since Tim Burton's vision of Batman graced the silver screen.  This was the first time that a serious Batman film had been made.  The character, created by Bob Kane, had been taken seriously before in the comics, but never to this degree on film.  Everybody knows about the old black and white film as well as the bombastic and colorful TV series starring Adam West during the  60s.  Entertaining?  Absolutely, even to this day, but in a very campy, cheesy fashion.  Tim Burton's take on the character was darker, grittier and honestly, far more compelling than any version of the character that came before on film.  Tim Burton's Batman was an enormous success, with toys, trading cards, music records, books, Diet Coke Commercials and other stuff.  The film would eventually spawn three sequels, Batman Returns, Batman Forever and Batman And Robin with Arnold Schwarzenegger.  The rule of thumb with THAT one is: The less said the better.  But I'll get around to it anyway.  After Batman And Robin TANKED at the box office and was a total failure, the film franchise would be put on hold until Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins arrived in 2005, which itself would spawn two even more successful sequels.  I have already reviewed these films, so please check them out.

Batman opens  in Gotham City as a family tries to get a taxi.  Thwarted, they decided to take a shortcut through an alleyway to a different part of the city.  They are mugged by two criminals and escape.  While counting their cash, they encounter a mysterious figure dressed as a bat(Michael Keaton), while dangling one of the criminals over the edge of the roof, the criminal asks, "What are you?" The response: "I'm Batman."  A while later, crime boss Carl Grissom(Jack Palance), discovers that his second in command, Jack Napier(Jack Nicholson) is having an affair with his girl, and sends his corrupt cop, Eckhardt(William Hootkins)to kill him.  During the shootout at Axis Chemicals, Batman enters the scene and takes out a few of the goons.  Napier runs into Batman and is accidentally dropped into a vat of chemicals, which would not only physically scar and change Napier, but it would drive him insane, turning him into The Joker.

What can I say about this movie that hasn't been said a million times before?  It's amazing.  Every single aspect of the film is astoundingly well done.  The story is fantastic, and the origin of how the Joker comes to be is unique.  Let's talk about the performances:  Outstanding on all levels.  The one performance that most people would remember from this film is Jack Nicholson's turn as the Joker.  He's over-the-top, and comical at times, but also very unpredictable, intelligent and violent.  This is a different Joker than the version Heath Ledger played in The Dark Knight, but it's no less entertaining.  Jack Nicholson, goes from a fairly down to earth gangster into maniacally insane villain, that defines the character as it has for decades.  When people heard that Michael Keaton was going to play Bruce Wayne/Batman, they freaked.  Why?  Keaton was a stand-up comedian, he didn't seem like the right person to play this character.  Boy, did he show them.  His character has been psychologically damaged by the murder of his parents, and Keaton really brings that empathy out in the character, so at times, you feel the man's pain.  Other times, when he dons the costume and takes on the bad guys, you're totally behind him.  There are other characters in the film that really do stand out as well.  Kim Basinger as Vicki Vale, really shines as a sympathetic reporter who gets to know and understand Bruce Wayne as the movie goes on.  Robert Wuhl, plays Alexander Knox, a reporter who is obsessed with Batman and is constantly ridiculed for it.  Billy Dee Williams brings a fairly flamboyant flair to district attorney Harvey Dent.  Pat Hingle is fantastic and determined as Commissioner Gordon.  Michael Gough brings a fatherly figure to Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne's butler. So, yeah, there a lot of characters that really stand out, and that's unusual for a film of this type.  It's extremely compelling.

Action-wise, this movie still stands up today, with some awesomely choreographed fights and action sequences that involve actual sets as well as miniatures.  The opening fight with the two criminals on the rooftop is a hell of way to open a movie.  The battle inside the chemical plant is amazing, as well as the museum/street chase sequence.  All of these scenes are exciting, hard-hitting and just plain fun to watch.

The look of the film is astounding.  It is Gothic, dark, and dreary, and yet seems so real at the same time.  The way the sets are designed, is just fantastic.  It's not just the sets, it's also the design of the props, the costumes, the whole deal.  Batman's outfit with that famous symbol, is iconic.  The Batmobile is something to behold, it's sleek, it's fast and it's awesome, with tons of cool gadgets including miniguns, shields, and bombs.  It's the same deal with the Batwing.  It's amazing stuff.

One of the most iconic things of this movie was the music, composed by Danny Elfman.  Honestly, who can forget the opening credits?  That's why I have it posted at the top here.  It is simply amazing and appropriately epic and like something for a comic book at the same time.  The main theme is what most people think of, when they hear the name, Batman.

I remember first seeing Batman back in 1989 as part of a double-feature in a drive-in theater which is no longer there.  It was paired with James Cameron's The Abyss.  Two awesome movies in one night?  Good times.  I had never seen anything like Batman before.  Sure, Superman was fantastic, but that was pretty light-hearted affair.  Batman was dark, scary and action-packed and I loved every minute of it.  Does it still stand up after 25 years?  Hell, yes it does.  I mean, yeah, Christopher Nolan's movies were amazing, but I don't think they'll stand the test of time the way Tim Burton's film has. Tim Burton also directed the first sequel, Batman Returns, which ended up being a much darker picture and was almost as good, but I'll review that later.  As it stands now, Tim Burton's Batman is probably one of the most recognizable and well-loved movies ever made.  It blew people's minds when it came out.  As far as comic book movies go, Tim Burton's Batman is absolutely one the best.  Is there anything really wrong with this movie?  I'm not a big fan of Prince?  Basically, Tim Burton brought it all together, perfectly.  It is one of the best examples of how to make a compelling movie out of a comic book character.  This movie is truly one of a kind.  And it absolutely deserves a 10/10.  If you haven't seen it, you are seriously missing out.