Red Sonja

Sword and Sorcery films have been popular since Sinbad in the late 50s and early 60s, but it wasn't until the 80s that the sub-genre really exploded. In 1982, Conan The Barbarian was released and launched Arnold Schwarzenegger's film career. It also opened the floodgates for other movies in the genre, which included Krull, Conan The Destroyer, Red Sonja and Dragonslayer. None of those films had the same impact as Conan The Barbarian however. Conan The Destroyer wasn't as well received because it was held back by it's PG rating, and nonsensical story. Red Sonja was a flat out failure, as it didn't make HALF of what it cost to make. But Red Sonja is the film that I will be reviewing today.

The film opens in the aftermath of the murder of Red Sonja's(Brigitte Nielson) family and her being brutalized by the soldiers of the evil queen Gedren(Sandahl Bergman). Sonja is visited by a spirit, giving her the strength to finally seek revenge. Elsewhere, in a temple, priestesses guarding a mystical talisman are preparing to destroy it, when they are attacked by Gedren's forces, led by Ikol(the late Ronald Lacey). One of the priestesses escapes and is shot by one of Gedren's guards, who happen to be dispatched by Lord Kalidor(Arnold Schwarzenegger). Kalidor finds Sonja training at a nearby temple and is brought back to her sister, who later dies. Sonja then embarks on a quest to destroy the Talisman and Gedren. On the way, she meets a spoiled prince, Tarn(Ernie Reyes, Jr.) and his servant, the noble Falkon(Paul Smith). First thing's first, the story isn't original, and nor is it very good. The talisman is nothing more than a MacGuffin to get Sonja and her friends moving. We don't even get a taste of the talisman's full power, just some of the aftermath. Not only that, only women can touch it. Why is that? When a man touches it, he turns neon-green and then disappears. That's just one of the major plotholes that you'll discover throughout the film. The acting is flat out terrible. Nielson and Bergman are particularly awful. Which is strange, because I really liked Bergman in Conan The Barbarian. Schwarzenegger is just being himself basically, but it looks like he's having lots of fun. Ernie Reyes, Jr., who would later go to became a master of the martial arts as well as an actor/stunt man, ended up being pretty annoying in this film. Not really his fault, as that's the way the character was written. Reyes does get to showcase some of his martial arts abilities, which are actually fairly impressive for his age. The fight scenes that he's involved with are actually not to bad, it's just that there aren't really enough of them.

Speaking of the fight scenes, aside from Ernie Reyes, Jr., the fight scenes are fairly generic. Not bad, but nothing to really scream about either. Schwarzenegger's just doing his Conan stuff, and the fight between Gedren and Sonja runs a little too long. Paul Smith is really fun to watch though, he has a huge club made out of bone that he uses, which adds humor to his fight scenes. Truth be told, this is a bad movie, it's an even worse genre film, and yet, there's something strangely charming about the whole thing. It was made with the best intentions, which you can tell from some of the acting and other scenes, but it was just poorly executed. Some of the actors went on to have solid careers, Schwarzenegger was already a superstar because of The Terminator, and Ernie Reyes went on to star in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II and Surf Ninjas. The others? Not so much. Sandahl Bergman and Brigitte Nielson, both of whom were very beautiful at the time, especially in this film, just didn't really make it big.

As much as Red Sonja deserves the criticism that it got for it's silliness, I still found it to be an entertaining movie. Swords, sorcery, beautiful women, Arnold Schwarzenegger swinging a sword. It's still a great combination. Even in a bad movie. I still love it though. I give it a solid 8/10.