Sharknado

Oh boy.  Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.  It had to happen.  When your the name The Asylum, what comes to your mind?  Bottom of the barrel, low-budget sci-fi channel crapfests, right?  That's EXACTLY what The Asylum produces.  Mega Piranha, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Battle of Los Angeles and Snakes on a Train, just to name a few.  A lot of these films were designed to released on the coattails of certain big screen movies like the Piranha remake, Snakes on a Plane and Battle: Los Angeles.  For most of them, they are irredeemably bad.  Not even so bad they're good.  Most of them are just plain crap.  But every once in a blue moon, The Asylum releases a trailer teasing certain movies that are just so batshit crazy, you think to yourself: "Okay, I've gotta see that."  Mega Piranha was one such movie, and Sharknado is the other.

Story?  What?  Who cares?!  With a movie title like "Sharknado," are you really going into this expecting Citizen Kane?  All everybody needs to know is that a hurricane is forcing thousands of sharks towards the shores of California and are picked up and thrown by tornadoes.  And people ending up becoming lunch for the fish.  That's all you need to know.  It's just a way of explaining the insanity that happens on screen.  And it is insanity.  I suppose it's appropriate for a movie like this to be released by a studio called The Asylum.  It doesn't take long before things start going crazy on the beach, and then it just spills over(literally)into downtown Los Angeles, the Hamptons and an airport.  For a movie that was direct to TV, it's surprisingly bloody.  People are torn to shreds as you would expect in a shark movie.  But when sharks are swimming down streets and seen flying into signs and electric wires, you have to wonder?  What were these guys at Asylum smoking, and where can I get some?

Okay, let's get serious(not likely), what's bad about this movie? The acting, Ian Zeiring of 90210 fame is in the lead, Tara Reid plays his wife. John Heard plays the requisite drunkard, and Cassandra Scerbo plays the gorgeous love interest who hates sharks.  Yeah, the acting's bad, but most of these people are clearly in on the joke and are having a fantastic time, except for Tara Reid, who has as much talent as a rock.  The acting's bad, but it manages to entertain.  The visual effects?  Oh, dear god.  The CGI is just plain....WOW.  It's bad.  Again, it's par for the course with The Asylum.  However:  It's insane the amount of crap the manage to get on the screen.  If the CGI was better, it probably wouldn't send the message that this movie is nuts nearly as well.  There's definitely stuff in here that's just of the WTF variety.  Flying a helicopter next to a tornado and throwing bombs into it to destroy it?  Yeah, no.  Science?  That's out of the window.  Physics?  Also gone.  But then again, with a movie like this, you shouldn't expect ANY of that in the first place.

Any good stuff?  Uh....it doesn't take itself too seriously, but seriously enough that it doesn't come across as a blatant comedy.  It's also not boring.  It's fairly well-paced, leaving drama and the serious family dynamics out of the picture, for the most part.  It doesn't take long to get from one action scene to another.  There's that.  Oh, and the song when the credits roll is awesome.

Sharknado got a whole ton of press, this thing was hyped from when it was announced.  It was on Twitter, Facebook and all over the internet.  It even actually managed to get a limited THEATRICAL release.  No other movie from The Asylum can claim that.  Everybody's been talking about it.  Even people who don't watch movies or have internet have heard of this movie.  Are the people who hate this movie wrong?  Not at all.  On the contrary, they are very much correct.  It's a terrible movie.  Bad acting, bad special effects, lousy story; hell, lousy everything, except for the song on the end credits, that was awesome.  You can't really argue with people that give this movie a bad review. It's earned, and that I think is why it's popular.  It knows it's bad and goes full throttle, you're either with it or you're not.  Let's give this thing a score:
Acting: 4/10
Effects: 2/10
Story: What?
Concept: 8/10
Song on the End Credits: 15/10
Awesomeness Factor: 10/10.
Overall: 9/10.  I loved every minute of it.

Batman(1989)

25 years.  It has been 25 years since Tim Burton's vision of Batman graced the silver screen.  This was the first time that a serious Batman film had been made.  The character, created by Bob Kane, had been taken seriously before in the comics, but never to this degree on film.  Everybody knows about the old black and white film as well as the bombastic and colorful TV series starring Adam West during the  60s.  Entertaining?  Absolutely, even to this day, but in a very campy, cheesy fashion.  Tim Burton's take on the character was darker, grittier and honestly, far more compelling than any version of the character that came before on film.  Tim Burton's Batman was an enormous success, with toys, trading cards, music records, books, Diet Coke Commercials and other stuff.  The film would eventually spawn three sequels, Batman Returns, Batman Forever and Batman And Robin with Arnold Schwarzenegger.  The rule of thumb with THAT one is: The less said the better.  But I'll get around to it anyway.  After Batman And Robin TANKED at the box office and was a total failure, the film franchise would be put on hold until Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins arrived in 2005, which itself would spawn two even more successful sequels.  I have already reviewed these films, so please check them out.

Batman opens  in Gotham City as a family tries to get a taxi.  Thwarted, they decided to take a shortcut through an alleyway to a different part of the city.  They are mugged by two criminals and escape.  While counting their cash, they encounter a mysterious figure dressed as a bat(Michael Keaton), while dangling one of the criminals over the edge of the roof, the criminal asks, "What are you?" The response: "I'm Batman."  A while later, crime boss Carl Grissom(Jack Palance), discovers that his second in command, Jack Napier(Jack Nicholson) is having an affair with his girl, and sends his corrupt cop, Eckhardt(William Hootkins)to kill him.  During the shootout at Axis Chemicals, Batman enters the scene and takes out a few of the goons.  Napier runs into Batman and is accidentally dropped into a vat of chemicals, which would not only physically scar and change Napier, but it would drive him insane, turning him into The Joker.

What can I say about this movie that hasn't been said a million times before?  It's amazing.  Every single aspect of the film is astoundingly well done.  The story is fantastic, and the origin of how the Joker comes to be is unique.  Let's talk about the performances:  Outstanding on all levels.  The one performance that most people would remember from this film is Jack Nicholson's turn as the Joker.  He's over-the-top, and comical at times, but also very unpredictable, intelligent and violent.  This is a different Joker than the version Heath Ledger played in The Dark Knight, but it's no less entertaining.  Jack Nicholson, goes from a fairly down to earth gangster into maniacally insane villain, that defines the character as it has for decades.  When people heard that Michael Keaton was going to play Bruce Wayne/Batman, they freaked.  Why?  Keaton was a stand-up comedian, he didn't seem like the right person to play this character.  Boy, did he show them.  His character has been psychologically damaged by the murder of his parents, and Keaton really brings that empathy out in the character, so at times, you feel the man's pain.  Other times, when he dons the costume and takes on the bad guys, you're totally behind him.  There are other characters in the film that really do stand out as well.  Kim Basinger as Vicki Vale, really shines as a sympathetic reporter who gets to know and understand Bruce Wayne as the movie goes on.  Robert Wuhl, plays Alexander Knox, a reporter who is obsessed with Batman and is constantly ridiculed for it.  Billy Dee Williams brings a fairly flamboyant flair to district attorney Harvey Dent.  Pat Hingle is fantastic and determined as Commissioner Gordon.  Michael Gough brings a fatherly figure to Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne's butler. So, yeah, there a lot of characters that really stand out, and that's unusual for a film of this type.  It's extremely compelling.

Action-wise, this movie still stands up today, with some awesomely choreographed fights and action sequences that involve actual sets as well as miniatures.  The opening fight with the two criminals on the rooftop is a hell of way to open a movie.  The battle inside the chemical plant is amazing, as well as the museum/street chase sequence.  All of these scenes are exciting, hard-hitting and just plain fun to watch.

The look of the film is astounding.  It is Gothic, dark, and dreary, and yet seems so real at the same time.  The way the sets are designed, is just fantastic.  It's not just the sets, it's also the design of the props, the costumes, the whole deal.  Batman's outfit with that famous symbol, is iconic.  The Batmobile is something to behold, it's sleek, it's fast and it's awesome, with tons of cool gadgets including miniguns, shields, and bombs.  It's the same deal with the Batwing.  It's amazing stuff.

One of the most iconic things of this movie was the music, composed by Danny Elfman.  Honestly, who can forget the opening credits?  That's why I have it posted at the top here.  It is simply amazing and appropriately epic and like something for a comic book at the same time.  The main theme is what most people think of, when they hear the name, Batman.

I remember first seeing Batman back in 1989 as part of a double-feature in a drive-in theater which is no longer there.  It was paired with James Cameron's The Abyss.  Two awesome movies in one night?  Good times.  I had never seen anything like Batman before.  Sure, Superman was fantastic, but that was pretty light-hearted affair.  Batman was dark, scary and action-packed and I loved every minute of it.  Does it still stand up after 25 years?  Hell, yes it does.  I mean, yeah, Christopher Nolan's movies were amazing, but I don't think they'll stand the test of time the way Tim Burton's film has. Tim Burton also directed the first sequel, Batman Returns, which ended up being a much darker picture and was almost as good, but I'll review that later.  As it stands now, Tim Burton's Batman is probably one of the most recognizable and well-loved movies ever made.  It blew people's minds when it came out.  As far as comic book movies go, Tim Burton's Batman is absolutely one the best.  Is there anything really wrong with this movie?  I'm not a big fan of Prince?  Basically, Tim Burton brought it all together, perfectly.  It is one of the best examples of how to make a compelling movie out of a comic book character.  This movie is truly one of a kind.  And it absolutely deserves a 10/10.  If you haven't seen it, you are seriously missing out.

Godzilla(2014)

Godzilla. If there's any movie monster that needs NO introduction, it's Godzilla. When one hears that name, what does it bring to mind? A giant reptilian beast with atomic breath destroying cities. In 1954 in Japan, Godzilla was first introduced to audiences in a black and white film. It featured a man in a rubber suit tearing up miniature cities. There have been many classic monsters before Godzilla: Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolf Man. But when Godzilla showed up in the early 50s, it rocked the house. The original name is actually Gojira, but still, an impressive film with impressive production values. There have been so many movies featuring the titular monster, I can't even count. I'm not counting the 1998 travesty, because let's be honest, that's not Godzilla. It's an overgrown iguana. So after that and two more Godzilla movies, the monster needed a rest. Ten years later, Godzilla hits the big screen again.

Godzilla opens up as a Japanese scientist Dr. Serizawa(Ken Watanabe) is flying to a mining site, where there was a massive collapse. After exploring the underground tunnels, they discover the remains of an ancient and giant monster that existed millions of years before we did. Some time later in Japan, a scientist, Joe Brody(Bryan Cranston)has discovered unusual electromagnetic signatures below a nearby nuclear power plant. What appears to be a massive earthquake destroys the facility and kills Joe's wife. 15 years later, Joe's son, Ford(Aaron Taylor-Johnson)is in the Navy and has a family of his own. Ford's father is arrested in Japan for violating a quarantine zone and Joe goes to Japan to bail him out. Both discover that there is no radiation, but rather, the government has been hiding a major discovery under the remains of the nuclear power plant.

This being a Godzilla movie, you would expect there to be giant monsters, and it delivers, but the first one you see isn't big G himself. The one that you see is a winged monster. And it is HUGE. There's also a second monster that's similar but larger and doesn't have wings. Then we come to the main guy. Wow. To the film's credit they try and NOT show him too early, but just bits and pieces. It's enough to give you the chills in anticipation. Then we finally get to see him in all his glory and I was blown away. It's very, impressive how they brought Godzilla to life. This is not the iguana from the 1998 movie, but this more like the original Japanese monster, albeit larger and less static in terms of movement. This thing is more like an organic creature than a man in a rubber suit, which while that had it's charm back in the day, here it would've been out of place and very hokey. So, CG was the only way to go here, and they really outdid themselves. With Godzilla back on the big screen, people wonder, if he's got the stuff that makes Godzilla, well....Godzilla. Oh, yes. He stands up on hind legs, he's got the spikes on his back and he's got the super long spiked tail. He also has his infamous atomic breath.

As with giant monster or kaiju movies, some level of destruction is certainly expected. Godzilla definitely delivers the goods. However, it's not Pacific Rim levels of destruction. It's not completely mindless, but rather restrained. I know, restraint in a monster movie, right? Doesn't make sense, does it? In this case it does, because the story has these massive monsters basically going after radioactive sources for food. Godzilla shows up to fight them, so there is collateral damage, but unlike Pacific Rim, the destruction is actually very restrained. The two cities that really take a pounding are Las Vegas and San Francisco.

I mentioned Pacific Rim because that movie is Guillermo Del Toro's love letter to the Godzilla movies of the 50s and 60s. It's a fantastic movie with great visuals, but it's just NOT a Godzilla movie. There is something about Godzilla that makes a movie like that special. I also mentioned the 1998 Godzilla. That one isn't Godzilla because, while he had the spikes and the roar, the rest of him just wasn't that impressive other than his size. They also killed him at the end of the movie. You don't kill Godzilla, are you kidding? Godzilla's one of those monsters that you just have to root for. When he's on the screen with other monsters, you find yourself rooting FOR a monster. There's a definitely a human element to this movie, and it takes place from a human's perspective, but it's done in a fairly believable way.

Are there downsides to the new movie? Yes. The one that's going to bother people the most, I think, is how little Godzilla is actually in the movie. Yeah he shows up, but there's a considerable waiting period between appearances. But I think it was done in a way that really adds to the anticipation of the Final Battle, and when the big guy is one the screen, all the attention is his. The other is Bryan Cranston. It's not that he was bad, not at all. it's that he wasn't really in the movie for very long, which is a shame, because his character was pretty important. Godzilla's roar is definitely there, but it's a little different than what I'm used to hearing from him. Overall, this is a fantastic movie to kick off the summer, and is actually a pretty damned good Godzilla movie to boot. He's back, ladies and gentlemen. I give the movie a solid 9/10. It's good to be the king.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

In 1984, a little science fiction movie featuring a particular bodybuilder was released to critical acclaim worldwide. This film made James Cameron and Arnold Schwarzenegger household names. It also launched the careers of Michael Biehn and Linda Hamilton. The Terminator was an absolute phenomenon. Nobody had seen anything quite like it before. It had a very good story, fantastic acting, great music and overall breakneck pace that made it a landmark sci-fi flick. James Cameron would go on to direct hits like Aliens, The Abyss, True Lies, Titanic and Avatar. Arnold Schwarzenegger would get films like Commando, Twins, Predator, Kindergarten Cop and other big films. But Schwarzenegger and Cameron would first return to the universe which catapulted Arnold into superstar status. Terminator 2: Judgment Day would not only go on to be an even bigger success than the original film, but it would also revolutionize visual effects.

Terminator 2 opens in the year 2029, nearly thirty-two years after Judgment Day, the day which Skynet nearly destroyed the human race with nuclear weapons. The film then cuts to present day California. In the parking lot across from a biker bar, a huge ball of energy appears and out steps a familiar figure, The T-800 Terminator(Arnold Schwarzenegger), after getting clothes from a biker in a rather entertaining fashion, he heads off in search of his target. In a different part of the state, the same electrical storm and ball of energy happen again, only this time, a character that is not only smaller than the T-800, but is an entirely different kind of Terminator: The T-1000(Robert Patrick), after killing a cop and assuming his identity, this Terminator also goes off in search of the same target: John Connor(Edward Furlong). Two Terminators, two different missions. The T-800's? To protect the future leader of the human resistance. The T-1000 was sent back to kill him. The story while it does follow in the original film's footsteps of protecting the future of the human race, Terminator 2 changes it up by having John Connor, The Terminator and Sarah Connor(Linda Hamilton) try to prevent Judgment Day.

There are some criticisms of having Arnold Schwarzenegger play a "good" Terminator at the beck and call of a rambunctious 11-year old. I think, however, that grows between the two is one of the film's greatest strengths. We have a child who is essentially trying to teach a murderous machine why it's important not to kill people. The Terminator is such an iconic character, some people think he should always be the bad guy. But I think changing it up helps T2 immensely, since we have such a fantastic villain in the T-1000. The T-800 was nearly unstoppable in the first film, but the T-1000 takes it to a whole new level. Why? He's made of a mimetic poly-alloy: liquid metal. He's essentially a shape-shifter. Personally, I think the T-1000 is more intimidating, because he can take the shape of anyone he kills, so you have no idea where he's coming from or when. Robert Patrick is phenomenal as the shape-shifting killer, he's almost as stoic and intense as Schwarzenegger even though he's nowhere near as big. But the way the two clash on screen, you wouldn't know that. As far as the rest of the cast goes? Edward Furlong wasn't too bad, I don't think. He wasn't as irritating as some other silver screen kids. Linda Hamilton's character of Sarah Connor goes from a nearly helpless girl to a battle-hardened warrior, and Linda just comes across extraordinarily strong-willed and determined to protect to her only son. Joe Morton plays Miles Dyson, the man who is unknowingly responsible for the creation of Skynet and ultimately the near-extinction of the human race. Joe brings a very likeable workmanship quality to the character, who only has the best intentions with technology.

Now, this being a new Terminator film at the time, James Cameron had to up the ante for the villain. For that he went to legendary special effects firm, Industrial Light and Magic and enlisted two of the most well-known special effects artists, Stan Winston and Dennis Muren to help create the technology needed to bring a liquid metal assassin to life. Cameron had toyed with morphing effects with the water tentacle in The Abyss, but no-one had ever done anything to this scale before. The results? Nothing short of spectacular. The gunshot wounds disappear as if they never happened, and the T-1000 can form knives and other stabbing weapons. One of the most spectacular examples is in the mental institute when one of the guards is copied. The T-1000 basically just rises up from the floor and takes the shape of a portly guard just before killing him. 23 years later, the visual effects still stand up remarkably well. While this is a human story at the very heart of the film, it's enhanced by the incredible visuals.

Action-wise, Terminator 2 takes it to a whole new level with iconic scenes and stunts, such as the explosion at Cyberdine and the T-1000 jumping his motorcycle through the window to reach a police helicopter. Terminator 2 is one of the greatest sequels of all time and one of the most iconic films of the early 90s. Again, James Cameron delivers on epic action movie that is enriched with emotion and excitement, and is solidly paced? Are there downsides to the movie? Yes. Furlong's performance as John Connor is inconsistent. He's great playing a rebellious teen, but when he's trying to teach The Terminator to be more human? Ehhhhh...., but overall, he really isn't that bad.

The music by Brad Fiedel has certainly evolved. While the original film was more synthesized, Terminator 2, like the T-800 is a combination of the organic and synthetic, meaning that there's definitely some orchestral stuff mixed in with the synthetic, and it just adds to the emotion, particularly the main Terminator theme. This movie is what truly made The Terminator theme iconic.

On a side note, the main theatrical release of Terminator 2, was released in 1991 and was 137 minutes long. In 1993, a special extended version of the film was released on home video with 16 minutes of additional footage, including a deleted dream sequence which featured Michael Biehn as Kyle Reese. It's mostly of the character development kind. You get to see more home life with Miles Dyson and his family. One of the more interesting sequences that was altered, was the garage sequence in which John asked the Terminator if he could learn stuff that he wasn't programmed with. In the original release, his answer was that he learned more about human beings when he had more contact with them. Didn't really make sense. In the special edition, his CPU was actually preset to read-only. That's because Skynet didn't want them to think for themselves. This is one of the more important scenes that actually had an impact on scenes later in the film, especially an amusing bit where John is trying to get the Terminator to smile. While these scenes aren't necessarily required to enjoy the movie, they do flesh out the characters a lot more, and makes the movie far more intense. Regardless of which version you watch, this is an astounding movie and an incredible sequel. While it doesn't come close to the originality of the original film, it definitely improves on a lot of key elements, particular the visual effects and music. Of the three Terminator sequels, this one is easily the best, bar none. Do I recommend it? Most definitely. The film gets a 9.5/10. If you haven't seen it, do so.

The Terminator

There have been many memorable villains throughout film history, Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, Darth Vader, Kahn from Star Trek, Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger just to name a few. But one of the most unique villains to EVER grace the silver screen, came in the form of a cyborg from the future. In 1984, a low-budget science fiction film was released to theaters. The Terminator.

The film opens as a garbage man is collecting garbage when a small electrical storm comes out of nowhere. When the smoke and electricity clears, a lone figure stands up. The stranger(Arnold Schwarzenegger) finds a couple of punks and kills two of them and takes the clothes from the last one. The film then cuts to an alleyway, when a similar electrical storm happens. A man falls out of the storm and finds some clothes. His name is Kyle Reese(Michael Biehn). Later we see a young woman, Sarah Connor(Linda Hamilton) on her way to work. One of her co-workers has her watching television when a news story describes another woman with the same name that has been murdered. She eventually ends up running into Kyle Reese, who tells her that he and the man that's trying to kill her are from the year 2029, and that the man trying to kill her is actually a cybernetic organism called a Terminator. Reese then tells her that the reason he is there to protect her is that she will become the mother of the man who will lead the human race to victory against Skynet, an artificial intelligence that nearly wipes out the human race with nuclear weapons in the future. The Terminator is there to kill her to prevent John Connor from being born.

There's a lot to say about this movie, that I honestly don't know where to begin. When this movie came out in 1984, it was one of the most unique and original films that anybody had ever seen. A killer machine from the future? Nobody had seen like that before. Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator? Arnold was the perfect fit. As a body-builder, Schwarzenegger had the body and the build to play a killer cyborg. As a result The Terminator has become of the most iconic film characters ever, and the role that really catapulted Schwarzenegger to the top. His performance as the Terminator was intimidating, not because the script required him to emote, he played a machine, but he came across as intimidating and unstoppable. Linda Hamilton played a fairly care-free woman who got caught up in a situation that would determine the future of mankind. Michael Biehn plays Kyle Reese with grit and determination, but also comes across as a real human being trying to protect humanity's greatest asset. The film would also put Lance Henriksen on the map. He plays a regular cop, but he still stands out. Henriksen would work with James Cameron again in Aliens.

The story in the film is really good and fairly original. Skynet, an A.I from the future that sends machines to the past to change the future was a pretty unique concept. Of course, with a film like this, you would have to expect special effects, action and thrills. The Terminator delivers on all counts. As this was a low-budget picture, the visual effects would have to be done practically, as CGI was still in its infancy. Stan Winston, who would go on to become a star in the special effects world alongside the likes of Dennis Muren, crafted a very unique villain in the shape of a metallic skeleton that didn't really appear until towards the end of the movie. A lot of the make-up effects, while seemingly primitive by today's standards, were nothing less than revolutionary, as Winston created a look-alike of Schwarzenegger. A lot of the techniques you saw in Terminator really hadn't been used to that degree before. One of the most important aspects of the film was also the music by Brad Fiedel. The music was more synthesized than orchestral, but the main theme of The Terminator is one of the most iconic pieces of music.

Is the film perfect? No, but honestly, there's really not a whole lot wrong with it either. The visual effects are kind of what you would expect for a low-budget movie, and yet they still stand up 30 years later. The Terminator has become a classic in every sense of the word. This is the movie that launched James Cameron's career as a director and it put Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn on the radar. Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton would work together again in Terminator 2, while Arnold would reprise his role for a third time in Terminator 3. As a result of The Terminator, Schwarzenegger has had an impressive body of work, that includes: Commando, Twins, Predator, Total Recall, Kindergarten Cop, True Lies and Eraser. Michael Biehn would work with Lance Henriksen and James Cameron again in Aliens, while working with Cameron yet again in The Abyss. Michael Biehn has landed some of the most iconic roles, which include not only Kyle Reee, but Corporal Hicks in Aliens, Lt Coffey in The Abyss, and Johnny Ringo in Tombstone. Linda Hamilton would go on to star in The Beauty and The Beast television series with Ron Perlman, and would eventually play a relatively normal person in Dante's Peak. Because of The Terminator, James Cameron would go on to have the two highest-grossing movies in history under his belt: Titanic and Avatar.

The Terminator stands out as one of the greatest science fiction movies ever made. It would spawn several sequels, a live-action television series, video games, comics and books. After Terminator 2, the movie sequels dropped in quality of story-telling, but necessarily special effects. Even Terminator 2 would retread some of the ground that put the original film on the map, but T2 would take visual effects to a whole new level. I'll review the other Terminator films later, but right now, The Terminator stands on its own, with a story that has heart and soul and just thrills you almost every minute of the movie. It is one of the centerpieces of science fiction. It's a movie that gets nearly everything right. If you are a true science fiction fan, you will have already seen this movie. More than once. More than twice. On a side note, a 5th Terminator film is in the works. And as a result, I felt it was time to revisit the Terminator franchise again. Say what you will about the sequels, but the original Terminator is magnificent. There's not enough that I can say about this film other than it's one of my favorites, easily in the top 3. If you haven't seen it, for shame! See it now. 10/10. To quote somebody when I review the other Terminator films: "I'll be back."

The Seasoning House

Rape and revenge thrillers have been around for decades. From The Last House on The Left to I Spit on Your Grave and their subsequent remakes/sequels, the rape/revenge genre has been infamous for being shocking, most notably the general explicit sexual assault on women for a good chunk of screen time, and the violent acts of revenge in the last act of the films. There's a purpose for that. The assault is designed to be extremely uncomfortable to sit through and the intention is to make the audience sympathize with the victim as well as hoping that the people assaulting the victim get their comeuppance. On a psychological level, it's supposed to be a kind of release to see revenge being taken. For the most part, it's particularly effective. And honestly, anyone who has no problem watching a woman getting assaulted on screen for 20 minutes? There's something seriously wrong with those people. These are not the kind of movies that are to be enjoyed on the same level as action movies or even other horror movies. In some movies like the original Last House on the Left, I think that the assault goes on for too long and as a result, cheapens the rest of the movie, and doesn't seem genuine. The revenge scenes on the other hand, tend to be more....gratifying, because the scumbags get offed in the most horrible ways. And they have it coming. The Seasoning House takes the revenge genre and gives it a fairly unique element.

The Seasoning House opens as a young girl named Angel(Rosie Day) is walking the halls of a run-down complex. This complex happens to be an illegal brothel in the Balkans, run by a demented man named Viktor(Kevin Howarth). The girls were kidnapped off the streets during a brutal and violent military campaign led by a ruthless soldier named Goran(Sean Pertwee). This man and his soldiers are responsible for the murder of Angel's family. Angel is a deaf-mute girl who can only understand sign language, and she meets one of the kidnapped girls who is able to communicate with her and form a sort of friendship. There are a couple of twists and turns in this movie, so I won't spoil them, but they aren't bad, not necessarily unpredictable, but decent. 

Now, when I said that The Seasoning House had a unique element, that element is Rosie Day's character, Angel, who is a deaf-mute, so she spends the entire movie mostly silent with the exception of some screams here and there. Rosie's performance is nothing short of brilliant. She makes Angel a very compelling and sympathetic character. Rosie Day deserves some kind of award for this performance, she's spectacular. The villains are a pretty spectacular bunch as well, which is unusual for a film like this, as most horror film villains are generally, cardboard cut-out caricatures and are poorly acted. Not here. The owner of the brothel is played by Kevin Howarth, who does a fantastic job playing a bad guy. But this bad guy actually has a bit of humanity to him, not much, but a little. He doesn't seem to mind the paying customers who come to his place for a little....fun, but he does seem to actually care about Angel to a certain degree. The real villain of this film however, is Goran, played brilliantly by Sean Pertwee. There's nothing redeemable about this guy. He is evil, a real scumbag. Pertwee maintains his cool just enough, but you can see the malice in his eyes, and when he goes berserk, Pertwee goes all out. Sean Pertwee probably one of the most underrated actors I've seen. He was fantastic in Dog Soldiers and Event Horizon, but he really gets to cut loose in this film, and yet his performance doesn't really come across as completely over-the-top.

How violent is this movie? Very. The scenes in which Goran's soldiers are killing people, is brutal. The violence in the third act of the film when Angel gets her revenge, is unrelenting and extremely bloody. This is not CGI blood either, these are practical effects....in the third act, anyway. You can see a little CGI stuff in the Balkan war scenes, but that is an actual tank they use and fire. Which is awesome...because, well, tanks are awesome. There are two rape scenes in this movie, and while they are not the intensity of movies like I Spit on Your Grave, they are still very unpleasant. So...just a warning: This movie is not for the faint of heart. I almost forgot to mention that the film can be claustrophobic at certain points, because Angel is small to movie around behind the walls and under the floors in the brothel. Again, another one of those interesting and effective elements that I noticed.

It's not a perfect movie. Some of the CG effects are rather obvious towards the beginning of the film. There is also the question of how a pint-sized girl could take on a squad of highly trained soldiers. But these are fairly minor nitpicks. Overall, this a very effective thriller, with great performances across the board. As a revenge thriller, I think this movie is actually far more effective than the recent I Spit on Your Grave movies, and it doesn't come across as overly exploitative. For genre fans, this one comes recommended. For casual movie fans, stay away. This is not a movie for everyone. But for those who, like me, have a strong stomach, there's some genuine thrills to be had here. I give it a solid 9/10.

Lincoln

The Constitution of the United States of America:  The foundation upon which this nation was built and continues to stand as a symbol of democracy and freedom.  It is also the oldest living document in the world, meaning it's still the basis for which our democracy and politics are derived, and can be changed by a certain number of votes.  There is an amendment in our Constitution which many consider to be one the most important amendments in the history of this country: The 13th Amendment.  It was written and signed into law by what many consider to be one of, if not the greatest President this country has ever seen: Abraham Lincoln.

The film opens two years after the Battle of Gettysburg.  Abraham Lincoln(Daniel Day-Lewis) has written the Emancipation Proclamation, and has now proposed a radical "13th" amendment to the Constitution.  An amendment which he hopes will abolish slavery and end the American Civil War.  Technically, the film opens on a battle between colored Union soldiers against the Confederate army.  The war doesn't take the reigns of this movie.  This film is about Abe Lincoln and his fight to abolish slavery, and he is met with staunch opposition by the Democrats.  This is a dark time in our history, when we were at war with each other, and one of the big things that we were fighting about was the right to own slaves.

The big selling point of this picture was Daniel Day-Lewis as President Lincoln.  Watching this movie, he IS Lincoln.  Day-Lewis got every detail about the man, right, right down to his mannerisms.  He portrays a man is constantly battling opposition not just from the Democrats but from people within his own party who feel that the proposed 13th amendment would lead to disaster for the country.  Daniel Day-Lewis absolutely steals the show as the 16th President.  He just disappears into the role as a compassionate yet steadfast man who feels the weight of the world bearing down on him, waiting for the passage of what many consider to be one of the most important amendments to the Constitution.  Some of the other actors of note are James Spader as N.W. Bilbo and Tommy Lee Jones as Thaddeus Stephens.  Both are excellent while Tommy Lee Jones is fairly humorous as Stephens.

Directed by Stephen Spielberg, this film is extremely compelling as an historical drama.  With Lincoln's back-and-forth banter among soldiers and his fellow politicians, the film never fails to entertain.  You even get to sense Lincoln's exasperation at certain things not going his way and his confrontation with his wife and eldest son not helping any.  For a film that really has no action in it, it's still fairly exciting, because you get to see the political process as it was back in the 19th century.  It was loud, boisterous and full of squabbling delegates, not unlike today, but far more....open about what they believed was in their best interests.  Even after the passage of the 13th amendment and the end of the Civil War, Lincoln still had compassion for the people who fought for the South, he wanted the soldiers to get back to their families and farms.

One of the things I haven't mentioned yet was the assassination of President Lincoln at the Ford Theater.  It doesn't really receive much attention, because the bulk of the film was about the President fighting to get his amendment passed.  While it's an important part of American history, Spielberg didn't linger too much on the assassination for fear it would dilute the rest of the film's power.  And powerful it is.  This is one of the best movies that Steven Spielberg has directed in a long time.  Daniel Day-Lewis is amazing as Abe Lincoln.  I have no problems giving this film a perfect 10/10.  I loved it.  It's a movie about one of the most important events in human history and I highly recommend this movie to everyone.

I'm going to conclude this review with the Gettysburg Address.  Why?  It was written two years prior, but is still considered to be the most important speech that Abe Lincoln gave during his time as President.

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
Abraham Lincoln
November 19, 1863